That was that...

... The last time I saw her.

She called me... she'd never done that before. She's waiting there; propping herself on the edge of the rusting steel fence. The air was different outside. A haze. Grey casting- down and about.

She wants my reassurance... I'm too selfish... she just needs someone. In a sad way I'm lucky that I'm that person.

Tears came down her cheeks. She looks up to try and hide it. She swallows hard and wipes her cheek with the outside part of her hand moving it down slowly... she's pressing hard.

Slumped down at the base of my entry wall I slide down right next to her. I look at her, and all I see is her. Though I am aware of what is around us, she's the only thing my mind can discern.

She is beautiful even in her distress. Life is changing. The words of her new path quiver out of her cords towards the air in front of us. She hardly looked me in the eye, but her words were something I could listen to for eternity.

Eternity.

That is the thought that fire off in my synapses. Its all conscious and not. My universe lives the moments I spent with her. There were firsts for her, and new feelings of whole and self for me.

--You were nice, though you thought differently. I mattered, though our time was short. You didn't have to, but you did. Through rough times, you somehow merited me your time. That's where my thoughts stay.

Experiences I've shared with others fade. In fact, they're entirely gone. Although you weren't first and we won’t be lasts, there is an element that I've come to grasp that will probably haunt me forever. Its not something I can put in writing, but it is a feeling of emptiness and abandonment that we all must feel at some point in our lives-- Though writing a descriptor as such to remotely describe it is personally an insulting to my own.

So you're gone. Just out of reach, but just enough in reach to keep me wondering. You hit a switch and that was that. Suddenly I am not there. I'm proud of you though. You're amazing, and its not a superficial or clouded favoritism I have for you. You just are. You are just.--

So we walk outside. I hear the screen door close behind us. Our steps are thudded on the brick walkway and a crunch comes from beneath our feet as we walk the length of the gravel driveway to the sidewalk. We pass the rusty steel post you waited for me on. We take a right and your car is waiting there for you. I give you a hug. We talk. I give you a hug. We talk. I give you a hug…

I ask you for one last kiss. You tell me you’re not in the mood, and I tell you that that is not what the kiss is for. This kiss is to show you that I care. This kiss is to show you that I will always care. This kiss is to show you what you’ve done to me. This kiss shows a change. A strive for something greater in our lives. An instant nostalgia.

You drive off.

And that was that… The last time I saw you.

I miss you.